Sunday, June 3, 2018

When I woke on Friday the fog was so thick I couldn’t see my hand in front of me. No, I wasn’t outside, I was in a bright, airy room, waking up from a difficult night of sleep. This week is what I call the double whammy. I do a self injection on Sunday of metho and then I go to my doctor’s appointment to get 400 mg of Cimzia injected. It happens once a month and as much as you plan for it, you never really get to plan for it.

This month was exceptionally tough. The weather did not help my cause, with a strong summer thunderstorm overnight, that quickly turned to a soupy mess of humidity and strong heat. On Friday, I had not slept well for the majority of the night. Joints were painful, throbbing and swollen by the sudden shift in weather fronts. I finally managed to fall back asleep around 6 am.

When I woke around 9, I knew something was off. I was awake but, I felt like everything was still a dream. I couldn’t concentrate nor could I focus my gaze or hold a meaningful conversation. It is like trying to concentrate when you are so tired and in need of rest. You are living your surroundings, you just can’t manage yourself physically or even mentally. I remember eating breakfast and then going back to bed to lie down. I was back in bed for an hour before the fog started to lift.

There is no information regarding how many people will experience side effects on a TNF inhibitor and a DMard but, any anti-rheumatic message board will tell you that many people suffer side effects ranging from chronic infection to reactions from the injection site. Brain fog is a common discussion between patients on Twitter and elsewhere. However, with all of hardships that my disease and medication have on my life, I will continue to take it and be grateful that 75% of the time, my medication works for my symptoms.

It took most of the day to become functional again. Like the weather, I never know what I am going to wake up to each day. However, without the medications, my life would be so much worse. I saw what this disease can do to the human body untreated, and I refused to ever let that happen to me or anyone else. Education is paramount so please, do research and be an advocate for your own health! Remember, when the fog lifts, there will be plenty of sunshine.

Lots of health and love.

~A